Fatkid's Bath Night

by Fatkid

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about

do yourself a favor. read up on the Mighty Splindledorph

THE FIRST GOSPEL OF SPLINDLEDORPH
www.docdroid.net/tu3m/the-first-gospel-of-splindledorph.pdf.html

THE SECOND GOSPEL OF SPLINDLEDORPH:
www.docdroid.net/VLb6NGF/the-second-gospel-of-splindledorphforreal.pdf.html

Those four bird-loving Splindleboys are back with another volume of ear-stabbing Glorp music! Rejoice! Much time has been spent skulking around in drippy tunnels and observing the birds since our last release, and we've made an album that you're sure to hate. Rejoice!

Here are some people we'd like to thank for helping us make this album as irritating as possible:
Splindledorph, Zart, Nate Amos, Gordon Ramsay, Tommy Wiseau, Tim Edwards, Dave Tato, Matt Mrozinski, Every Bird, Bock (Nate's dog back in Vernmont), Steve's Log, Ryan and Zach, Zach's cool boss Omar, nice sturdy windows, the Flaming Lips (for collaborating with Miley Cirus), Nickelback (when's the flaming lips collab?), and Grandpa Bay (and everybody who lives inside of him)

credits

released December 5, 2015

Doctor Zemiecki (aka Hajjis, aka Schizojoe) - The Bottom Keeper, big wood with four of string

Big Snore (previously known as Porous Coul) - The Biggest Guitar

Qlondorp the Great - Main Mouth Mumbles, a slightly smaller guitar

Vladimir Exodus Bizmark III - Hard Hittings, Destroy echo cylinder with the smashing stick

Recorded by Nate Amos at The Great Outdoors
Mixed and Mastered by Nate Amos

Shat out by Grandpa Bay

Album art and photos by Matt Mrozinski

Songs by The Mighty Splindledorph

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license

all rights reserved

about

Fatkid Chicago, Illinois

Four glorp gurus playing drippy tunnel music to honor the Almighty Splindledorph. Interests include tax evasion, moss, and second helpings of green beans.

All credit goes to Splindledorph. He wears our fingers like gloves and plays our instruments for us!

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Track Name: Under the Watchful Eye of Zart
Guhb'd Fack Egg'b Duhfah Segg Buh'd'f nnn ACE!!!!

I was staring at the looking glass
My reflection stayed the same
Then I felt a wave of terror
As the person in the mirror
Started pounding on the glass
And calling my name

But I’ll pay that no mind

You were planning to dismantle me
I could see it in your eyes
And though I’d like to think the best of you
I can’t pretend that what you’re gonna do
To me tomorrow will come as a surprise

But I’ll pay that no mind
Track Name: Denny Wants to Watch
If you could see it then you’d understand
Why I can’t stop crying
When your apathy is in command
What’s your heart implying
You were young, so was I
I think they left us here to die
But with my back turned to the wind
Just then how I felt like flying

And though I tried to be the better man
When they put me under
But I didn’t have a backup plan
I was torn asunder
And when you walked in with that tray
Felt my insides turn to clay
The way you smile and plunge the needle down
Kinda makes me wonder
I wonder

I’ll teach you not to turn your back on me
Track Name: That Drip of Trashwater is Heading Straight for Your Body!!
Come now dear, there’s no reason to be contrapuntal
I’ve got some resolution up my sleeve
We’ve all got the right to be a bit disgruntled
In the end all you’ve got to do is breathe
All this time trying to keep up with my satisfaction
Left me blind and without my sense of self
I try to chill, but they monitor my every action
I’m just a little knick-knack on the shelf

And the vulture cries, “do something of use!
Recant your lies, come straight for the noose!”

All his life, it was just waiting rooms and masturbation
Till he found that special light behind her eyes
A light so strong, that he was dead upon ejaculation
His weak mind, she had it trapped between her thighs
But I saw you like a vision in the Kalahari
The final step in the annulment of my curse
She left me stranded and she never felt the least bit sorry
That backdrop’s looping, all my actions feel rehearsed

And the vulture cries, “do something of use!
Recant your lies, come straight for the noose!”
Track Name: My Son-In-Law is a Fuck
And in that moment, you’re my lottery ticket boy
But you were speaking in an alternate voice
A pretty flower that’ll kill you to pick it
The indecision when you’re given a choice
So now I sit with my mind in a bucket- you
You came along to give your words to the wise
So tell me: why am I trying when my heart says “fuck it”?
Why are you crying for the one you despise?

Tempted
Past tense
Laughter
When it arrives
When it survives
When it springs rivers and multiplies
I need you to realize
That when you look in my eyes, a part of me dies
So, sympathize.

Reunited with that lovely disaster
I’m moving faster past the ghost in the hall
The fear, it gets hungry when I make it my master
I’m better off just blending in with the wall
But my real assassination is the patience you give me
You were always one to cut me right to the core
Before the floor collapses, I must ask you forgive me
Somehow I’ll find a way for you to settle the score

Tempted
Past tense
Laughter
A thousand eyes!!
Temped
Past tense
Laughter
When it arrives

Uhh… Begins to… circle around three times the speed that it was previously engaged in. I conduct myself in electric currents… and face towards the ground solemnly. On the way, up on the way up… we were looking… looking forward in time. I walk in circles silently with the electric currents. I conduct myself in this manner- it circles around three times. I conduct myself in electric currents, and behavioral pattern. I conduct these circles in time. the time multiplies three times, and these currents: three times I conduct myself. I… I… I want… I want my restaurant… I… I wish… the cleanest kitchen… I… the hottest stove… I… I… I… the head chef- in… in my… in my mind I see him staring at me, I… I circle around three times. the electric current multiplies. I want my restaurant to be successful. I… I want the cleanest kitchen. I want the coldest freezer. I want the hottest stove. the head chef…. I want the cleanest kitchen. three times… the electric current multiplies. I circle around three times. the cleanest kitchen. I want… I want my restaurant to be successful. I want the cleanest kitchen. I want the hottest stove. I want the coldest refrigerator. I want my restaurant to be successful. I am watching your mistakes, and I obey the words of the best chef. I want to be a slave to culinary arts. I want my restaurant to be successful but my son in law is a fuck

I want my restaurant to be successful
But my son-in-law is a fuck
My son-in-law is a fuck
I’m watching your mistakes!
Mitch!
Track Name: The Leg End of Kap-Dwa
Come on and look at me now
I’m doing just alright
‘Cause you’re showing me how
I’m doing just alright
So just go with the plan
It’s gonna be alright
So just act like a man
It’s gonna be alright

Before your eyes
You won’t see it coming
Swatting them like flies
As the fire dies
Whole world it’s a-hummin’
Making his replies

Come on and look at me now
I’m doing just alright
‘Cause you’re showing me how
I’m doing just alright
So just go with the plan
It’s gonna be alright
So just act like a man
It’s gonna be alright

Rain of pleasure sweat
Tight, awesome
Wind pass wheel
I get across
I was a mountain, breath your afternoon
Never long, and hurt through rage
Die sunlight, around some old small
Or is there an easy girl?
I explore heavy spin, young boy
This work has her sore
Burn every smile!
As we muscle our cool love, stop
Nice smooth hammer bulge
This fly is right

Before your eyes
You won’t see it coming
Making his replies
As the fire dies
Whole world it’s a-hummin’
Swatting them like flies
Track Name: My Mommy Fucked a Mailman
He even comes on Sunday

Wake up for the weekend
Look pretty for the mailman
A stamp on your postcard
I’ll put a letter in your mailbox
Inside with the white wine
A stain on my uniform
Out back by the swimming pool
Look pretty for the mailman

Still carry yesterday’s postage
I deliver the parcel
Never liked being a mailman
So I won’t show them any mercy
No one wears those dark sunglasses
Who isn’t part of the cause
They stare at me as my truck passes
It causes my fragile heart to pause
Track Name: There's a New Lobster in Town
Eat your motherfucking carrots
If you wanna have good eyesight
Eat your motherfucking carrots
I’m gonna make you stay up all night
And you’ll come with me
To my magical lobster palace
Come with me
I’ll give you all the fucking carrots you can eat

The frog with no eyelids
He is calling me to bed with him
(I’m a cockroach!)
And I’m a cockroach when you’re not looking
The trees bleed sap
The pumpkins have a death stare
I’m exercising in your basement
You’d better not come down here!

The fire behind my eyeballs
It is building up the ashtray
Wishing for gift-wrap
Wishing for a holiday, come on!
Track Name: If I've Told You Once I've Told You a Thousand Times If I've Told You Once I've Told You a Thousand Times If I've Told You Once I've Told You a Thousand Times
So you really think that you can stop my now? I doubt it!
It's gone so far I hardly even care about it
But when you shut my handcuffs
You sent a tiny part of my screaming into the void
But I'm not ready to go
So if this is what it's like to fall in love, I hate it
I wanna take this feeling and incinerate it
Your presence on my doorstep
The faces in the dream- well I am turning it off!
And I am turning around

I shut off the lights
My vision was fading
Creating a change in my name
My days turned to nights
I'm tired of waiting
And everything staying the same
So what should I say
I'm wrapped in your presence
It seems I've forgotten the rules of the game

And every day I've spent within your arms, it drowns me
I wish that you'd return me to the way you found me
Your presence on my doorstep
The faces in the dream- well I am turning it off!
And I am turning around
Track Name: Sour Mormons
There was some movement in the hall
The light was blowing out my candle
It made me feel like I was okay again
It's all according to the plan

And in the lightless tunnels where the silence took it's meaning
I could see my face reflected in the water
Within the thoughtless echo of the spirit's awful keening
Now I feel like I can have another chance
Please!!

You have to show me who you are
You have to illustrate the answer
We were sitting in your car
And I began to gasp for air

I felt like I was drowning and the icy currents gripped me
And began to pull me further from the purpose
And with your kind permission, I would like to end this vision
Cause I do not want to do your little dance
Track Name: Scrupulosity
Well I'm still searching for that arm that you tore off me
You're getting sneaky putting poison in my coffee
But when the spirit gets his way you are so effervescent
'Cause what you need was buried deep beneath the fertile crescent

You had some thoughts while you were squattin' in the mausoleum
And how you feared that He would take you to the other side
But by the time that you were fortunate enough to see Him
You knew too well there was no place for you to run and hide

Head back, you can hear him coming
Open the door

I pushed you down in the mud
And it was worth it just to see some blood
Bright as gold, sharp as glass
I saw the moment and I let it pass